Dear America,

I voted today and I'm sad to report that even though I've been listening to this presidential race nonsense for like TWO YEARS NOW, I will have to vote again in five months. FIVE MORE MONTHS.

What if we all take this oath:

After this presidential election, I solemnly swear to close any article, to turn off the television or the radio, to not click like on any facebook posts, to stick my fingers in my ears and begin humming loudly, or to otherwise block out any news of the next presidential election before January 1, 2020. Even when the Republicans start Tire Fire 3: Fired Up All Over Again Again, I will ignore it. I will not boost ratings, or views, or clicks, or likes, even though sometimes watching a tire fire can be strangely satisfying. I will live in the present, I will remember what the sun feels like on my face, and I will not ask other people to descend into the maelstrom of political “news” until the time is right and it actually becomes news.

I know this is like how everyone bitches about Christmas starting early, but let's be real–Christmas starts early because we forget ourselves and buy eggnog and mint M&Ms in early November. We have to control ourselves! Avoid the clickbait! Things aren't actually heating up. It's all just sound and fury, signifying nothing! (Trick from TNG: Always quote Shakespeare.)

Yours in suffering until this madness finally stops,
Tara

p.s. I would ask media outlets and political candidates to take the oath, but let's be real, those people are monsters.