We're all going to die (and I'm not even talking about Brexit!)

It seems important to be able to answer the question: What do I love to do with my time?

We've all filled out online profiles and dating profiles and other profiles that asked us those questions, and mostly we put aspirational things. I like to hike and save children while cooking five course meals! I like a lot of things but I don't actually spend that much time doing the things I like. And I know I'm not alone. It's gotten better since I destroyed a bunch of my hobbies–like the suckers that grow at the base of a tree, they never got big and they siphoned off energy that could be better spent elsewhere. Tonight I spent a lot of time thinking about how I could design amazing great band posters and how fulfilling that would be, which, yeah, it would be great, but also, totally not necessary to my life in anyway. Gone.

A short list of things I like to do:

• Dance in my living room
• Write
• Watch tv shows
• Read good books
• Stretch
• Walk in nature
• Look at plants or clouds or other natural things
• Play board games (mostly)
• Driving and listening to music
• Painting my nails
• Taking a bath
• Trying new makeup techniques
• Dressing up

One thing I notice is that except for board games, which only merits a “mostly”, I don't need the active participation of anybody for the rest of these activities. Maybe I can make a list of things I like that other people are usually present for?

• Hanging out with my favorite people
• Scuba diving
• Dancing in public
• Singing karaoke
• Taking a dance class or similar physical group activity (karate)

Being a blissfully unproductive hermit sounds pretty great, but it does prevent me from connecting with other human beings which I'm pretty sure is important. I'm also afraid I will disappear if I only do these quiet things in my home, away from people. I already feel like I'm dissolving into the fabric of a city where I am unknown. What happens if I actually disappear? What if no one knows who I am or what I'm doing or why?

Probably it's fair to say that I simply have a narrow understanding of what I like and that actually I like many more things than you see here.

Let's take a sort of nutritional view on the subject. There are probably component parts of all activities that we all crave, at least a tiny bit, right?

• Moving our bodies
• Consuming art in some form
• Being with people
• Being alone
• Being productive
• Being aimless
• Resting
• Working
• Creating art in some form
• Learning
• Practicing

I hate to bring up the b-word but maybe it's about having a little of everything. I don't know, it's not a very well-developed theory. My next idea of course I want to make fancy pie charts in my ridiculous journal–for each activity, how much of each vitamin does it provide? Am I ODing on alone time or consumption time or creation time, or….?

I promised myself I'd be done before midnight, so we'll have to leave this here.