Right now I'm sitting in our postage stamp of a guest room by myself. I'm listening to Musicology, the Prince album from the tour I saw in 2004. If I took out my headphones, I would hear my neighbors having a party in their backyard–the chattering, laughing ruckus of a party in my neighbor's backyard. I can't smell anything. My entire head is itchy–allergies have turned my sinuses against me and my eyes are itchy disasters. Paul is asleep, Trista and Todd are driving home after a weekend of literally nothing but gaming and talking.

I'm struggling to find something to write about, but I am too much bread and too little butter. The weekend did its job and got me to relax. I have half-thoughts on a lot of questions but haven't sorted out the meat of them yet. Questions about generosity and forgiveness and role-playing games. So, for now, I submit something I wrote before but haven't published yet, which I think counts because I DID write and I AM publishing.

—

Recently, I committed to visualizing success for two minutes a day. This is like…so not a Tara thing to do. Let me lay out my misgivings for you:

1. It sounds like nonsense. Visualizing success? I am NOT a woo-woo kinda girl and this reeks of woo.
2. It is kind of embarrassing to sit around and think about yourself bagging a big client. I imagined I would feel like the girl who is obsessed with becoming prom queen.
3. Doesn't it seem like “visualize success” is from one of those 90s motivational posters? Or maybe something Patrick Bateman would be into.

But I committed to it anyway. Other people swear by it; what have I got to lose but two minutes a day? It's free, it's highly recommended and I could use a change of pace.

Turns out when you're not a “visualize success” type, it's not actually that easy to just sit down and do. Here are some lessons I learned in my month-long experiment:

1. Pick something small that you're already worried about.

   You have a big sales meeting tomorrow? You're worried about it? Instead of imagining all the terrible things that might befall you (coffee spills, fumbled names, a mean jerk of a client), imagine walking in the door confidently, shaking hands, and then give them the spiel. If you get it wrong and start worrying in the middle of it, just start over. It's free, remember?

2. Try writing it out.

   Try free writing the scene of your success. Committing it to paper makes it more concrete and it's easier to stay on track.

3. Worrying = visualizing disaster

   I don't know about you, but worrying is a deep genetic gift for me. I've got two worrywart grandmas. There was no hope I'd escape this curse.

   Now, people say that worrying isn't very good for you. But if you're already a natural worrier, you've actually got the skills to visualize success. You're a natural! You just have to stop worrying about all the horrible things that will happen and start worrying about how great things are going to be. Put those worrying skills to use.

Give it a try! I thought it was nonsense but it has helped me out.